The CAKE Guide, Part 2

Part 2 of Cake’s Guide to Female Sexual Pleasure is called “Let’s Get It On” and true to its title, contains chapters on sexual positions, vibrators, dirty talk, exhibitionism, and causal sex. However, the authors continue a linear vision of sexual practices we discussed in class on Wednesday. Gallagher and Kramer write, “All right, girls, now that you have the ABCs of self-lovin’ down, it’s time to share all that good stuff with some lucky, lucky boys” (91). Although one of the book’s overall messages aims to empower women’s sexual experiences by increasing their confidence in the plurality of such experiences, I felt that to be one of their women, you must fit their narrow definition of what they consider a wild, sexy woman to be, and further, act this way in a heterosexual manner.

In chapter 6, “Beyond the Missionary,” the authors discuss oral and anal sexual practices. Gallagher and Kramer argue for women to demand sexual pleasure for themselves as well as their partners, noting, “Real sexual satisfaction includes both giving pleasure and receiving it” (91). Mixed in between personal testimonials, the authors include a small passage on STDs and the Pill. Unlike “Our Bodies, Our Selves,” The “Hot Woman’s Handbook” does not go into great detail about either of these parts of sexual practices, focusing instead on Plan B, or Emergency Contraception. I was surprised to read that “There are 60 million U.S. women of reproductive age, and 7 in 10 (42 million) are currently sexually active and do not want to become pregnant” (113). It made me realize how critical the Plan B issue is in current national policy debates.

Throughout chapter 7 “A Little Help from Our Friends” and chapter 8 “Dirty Talkin,’” Gallagher and Kramer continue discuss sexual matters without flowery illustrations. Although they present multiple scenarios in which women may find sexual pleasure, the authors further their narrow definition of what women should find “sexy.” When describing the possibility of bringing vibrators into one’s sexual practices, they state, “the trick in introducing the vibe with your partner is to make it sexy” (125). While various ways to do this are given, the authors maintain that it is absolutely necessary for a sexy woman to use a vibrator, not only for personal satisfaction, but in conjunction with a partner. Instead of pointing to vibrators as one option for satisfying pleasure, I feel that the authors practically demand its use. In the chapter on dirty talk, the authors write from a more pluralistic vision writing, “Dirty talk can be a touchy topic. “Certain words, like ‘cunt,’ ‘dick,’ ‘pussy,’ ‘fuck,’ ‘daddy,’ slut,’ ‘whore,’ can be one person’s On button and another’s Abort All Activity switch.” (135).

Chapter 9, “Express Yourself,” describes how some women find satisfying sexual pleasure from varying forms of exhibitionism. Although I found their descriptions of the “male gaze” and their own “CAKE gaze” very interesting, I couldn’t help but be put off by some of the personal testimonials. One woman claimed, “Our ability to feel sexy in many ways is rooted in our ability to be desirable, i.e. to play the object role. It is important for us feminists not to condemn women for enjoying this role, because doing so stands in the way of women’s sexual fulfillment.” (144).

Finally, chapter 10 is titled “Causal Encounters” and describes the now prominent practice of causal sex in today’s culture. While the authors note, “sexual pleasure is not limited to monogamous relationships” they also write, “interest in sex for sex’s sake does not prohibit us from enjoying sex for love’s sex” (155, 158). I was bothered by their section on the “boundaries” of this sexual practice, as they argue for setting both emotional and physical boundaries. However, as the practice of “friends-with-benefits” has become more prominent among young adults, especially college students, I would argue that such boundaries are easier created than maintained.

Questions for discussion:

Throughout part 2, it may be argued that the authors use illustrations without thinking of possible patriarchal language implications. When describing blow jobs/hand jobs in chapter 6, the authors argue, “…giving head is pure power exchange. It’s the giver who holds all the power” (98). Also, in another chapter, the authors contend, “role-playing is the power dynamics of domination and submission, and exhibitionism and voyeurism, all rolled up in one game” (138). To what extent do you think such language promotes their narrow view of female sexuality?

In chapter 9, Gallagher and Kramer further the traditional theory of the “male gaze” (females are objects of a male, predatory perspective) by constructing their own “CAKE gaze” (women choosing to be subjects, objects, or both at the same time). I am not convinced that this is the feminist, 21st century woman answer. The authors contend, “We get to be watched, adored, ogled, and above all in control” (144). Is this really different than the original patriarchal implications of the “male gaze”?

Levy's Female Chauvinist Pigs, Part 1

In Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture, Ariel Levy argues that empowerment within 3rd wave feminism is no longer defined by a plurality of movements, but narrowly viewed through one type of women’s sexuality. This raunch culture, Levy contends, may be seen in the media, a la “Sex and the City,” and also within our own communities, such as the rise of stripper-cardio exercise courses as the local gym. Levy writes that this faux-empowerment ideal is supposedly the liberation of post-feminism, an ideology long passed its necessity. She writes, “Only thirty years ago, our mothers were ‘burning their bras’ and picketing Playboy, and suddenly we were getting implants and wearing the bunny logo as supposed symbols of our liberation” (3). As someone who is appalled when seeing an 11yr old wearing a tube top and belly-button ring or a 16yr old asking for breast implants for her birthday, I agree with Levy’s conclusion, “It is worth asking ourselves if this bawdy world of boobs and gams we have resurrected reflects how far we’ve come, or how far we have left to go” (5).

In chapter 1 of Levy’s book, the author describes a typical night filming with a Girls Gone Wild crew. With an estimated worth of $100 million, it seems as though GGW is the epitome of this generation’s active interest in keeping raunch culture alive and thriving. This so-called “rite of passage” is also perpetuating a cookie-cutter form of female perfection. According to GGW, a perfect 10 means “100 to 110 pounds, big boobs, blonde, blue eyes, ideally no piercing or tattoos” (12). For every female that doesn’t fit within this fixed feminine ideal, raunch culture says tough luck. Levy writes, “Raunch culture isn’t about opening our minds to the possibilities and mysteries of sexuality. It’s about endlessly reiterating one particular- and particularly commercial- shorthand for sexiness” (30). Such an ideal leaves no room for the plurality of women’s physical attributes, let alone a plurality of sexual experiences. The 3rd wave must remain open to not only to women not holding physical features that stereotypical “sexy” body types, but are also open to different sexual orientations.

I think we must continue to make the distinction between the women’s liberation movement and the sexual revolution, though understand the ways the two overlap. Levy writes, “One of the fundamental initial goals of the women’s liberation movement was to advance women’s sexual pleasure and satisfaction” (54). However, the plurality of this sexual pleasure must be realized as well. I found Hugh Hefner’s, founder of Playboy, overwhelming support of feminist issues like Roe v. Wade and the ERA surprising. Though he may be the “her of the sexual revolution,” Hefner and the Playboy Foundation remains highly controversial. The Foundation gave grant money to NOW’s Legal Defense and Education Fund, but Hefner has also been quoted as saying “I do not look for equality between man and woman…Socially, mentally, I enjoy more being with men. When I want to speak, to think, I stay with men” (59).

I look forward to tomorrow’s discussion on the introduction, and chapters 1 and 2 of Levy’s book. I’m expecting a wide range of opinions on the “rise of the raunch culture.”

Intro to WS 399: 3rd Wave Discourse

I'm very excited to be in the senior seminar for the women's studies major. I expect to be intellectually challenged by the material and engaged within this diverse community. I am happy to finally be studying alongside other upper-class women studies majors in this capstone seminar. Throughout the semester I expect we will all agree and disagree with each other, enriching our personally held beliefs on feminism and gender issue coursework.

As a senior women's studies and political science double major, I expect to use past courses in both of these areas of study to develop ideas of 3rd wave feminism throughout the semester. I have a strong interest in international relations and often view gender issues through a global lens. I will rely on past travels and study abroad experiences to develop this focus and especially look forward to my classmates' contributions in this area of discussion.

My past women's studies courses have been varied and interesting. I especially remember biology of women, feminist theology, and last year's seminar on women and language as exceptional women's studies courses. I expect my first-year and sophomore year experiences in the American Conversations program to provide additional knowledge for this seminar on third wave discourse.